How I Built My Self-Confidence

Posted on by mckennahbybee

Hi guys, today I felt compelled to share what I’ve learned about building confidence in the last year. I’m sure there are many ways to build self confidence, but I wanted to share one that has been working for me.

A year ago my self confidence was shattered & I’ve been working on rebuilding it over the past year. The number #1 thing I would say is keep the promises you make to yourself. It’s so important to be able to trust yourself. When you say you’re going to do something DO IT! Building this pile of evidence showing that you keep your word builds not only trust but self confidence because you know that you show up. You will come to know that no matter what YOU make it happen.

Make a list of goals & then break them down into a weekly/daily goal. For example : your goal is to save $1,000 or lose 10 lbs. Think about the different ways you can accomplish each of your goals. Do you make coffee at home daily & only grab a coffee once a week so you have $50 extra a week you can save? Do you sell your old clothes online to make extra cash? Make a goal to list 1-2 new items a day on eBay for a week. You want to lose 10 lbs? Make a daily goal to walk a mile or workout 5 days a week or cut out soda. There are so many different approaches to each goal you have. Pick a path forward and stick with it, if you need to adjust later you can but just get started!

Tracking your goals makes them so much easier to accomplish because you always know where you’re at with it & what still needs to be done. You’ll get to check things off & continue to push towards your goal. The more things you accomplish the more evidence you have of what kind of person you are. Everything you do is a vote for what type of person you want to become. You have to get clear on what you want for yourself – what traits & characteristics are required for you to grow into the next version of yourself? You want to be a wife? What makes a good wife to you? Does she know how to communicate effectively? Read a book on communication. Does she know how to cook dinner? Learn a new meal to make. You want to be the best friend you can be? What would a good friend do to/for you? Do they check in on you? Do they bring dinner by on a busy night? Everything is subjective to what you perceive & how you want to show up in the world. SO DECIDE. Who do you want to be in this world?

One thing I know for sure : If you build your self confidence on validation from other people or compliments it will shatter with criticism. You have to build on a firm foundation, who you know yourself to be. What other people think or how they feel about you should not effect you – GOOD or BAD!

Xx, Kennah

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Favorite Podcasts

Posted on by mckennahbybee

Heavy Checklist – “A podcast touching on an array of topics. featuring Discovery Channels Heavy D from the hit tv show Diesel Brothers. Along with long time friends and guests.”

This podcast covers pretty much everything. Entrepreneurship, family, faith, fitness, philanthropy, growth etc. I love this podcast because it really is a checklist. It is so motivating & at the end of each episode they challenge you to implement a few things each week, all of which I have loved.

Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations – “Awaken, discover and connect to the deeper meaning of the world around you with SuperSoul. Hear personal Oprah’s selection of her interviews with thought-leaders, best-selling authors, spiritual luminaries, as health and wellness experts. All designed to light you up, guide you through life’s big questions and help bring you one step closer to your best self.”

Nothing more needs to be said about this podcast, it is perfectly described. Listening will leave you feeling radiant with positive energy.

Up & Vanished – (Season 1) “Payne tackles his first cold case story, the long unsolved disappearance of Georgia high school teacher and former pageant queen, Tara Grinstead. The 11-year old case remains the largest case file in Georgia history. Up and vanished aims to tell compelling, true stories and give these cases the exposure they deserve.”

This podcast always leaves me wanting more. I also love that when Payne starts out he isn’t a seasoned professional and he has no problem telling you he’s learning as he goes. This cold case is cracked because Payne brings so much attention to the case. You must listen to this guilty-pleasure.

Rise Podcast – “Rise is a podcast hosted by Mogul CEO Rachel Hollis. A bold conversation with fellow business powerhouses that provides the listener with real-life tangible takaways.”

I love Rachel Hollis in general, if you haven’t read her book Girl, Wash Your Face. Go buy it. RIGHT NOW. Hands down the #1 book I’ve read to date. She is real and honest. She really is tangible to everyday people like you and me trying to chase our dreams. Her & her story are both equally inspiring.

The GaryVee Audio Experience – “On this podcast you’ll find a mix of my #AskGaryVee show episodes, keynote speeches on marketing and business, segments from my DAILYVEE video series, interviews and fireside chats I’ve given, as well as new and current thoughts I record originally for this audio experience!”

This recommendation comes along with a caution that it is not suitable for all audiences. GaryVee is VERY intense, some episodes too intense for me but there are some GEMS hidden inside. Gary is wildly passionate & extremely motivating. If you’re ever stuck in a rut, he will pull you out. Parental guidance advised.

Rise Together – “Hosted by Rachel and Dave Hollis the Rise Together podcast is more than just a conversation about their relationship. Each episode is filled with tangible advice that will get you and your partner to be the best versions of yourselves.”

Again I’m obsessed with Rachel Hollis & I think relationships are SO IMPORTANT. Probably the most important thing. Her and her husband who are pretty dang funny give their best relationship advice.

What are some of your favorite podcasts? Send me a message! I am ALWAYS looking for new ones to listen to.

Xx, Kennah

2019 New Year Update!

Posted on by mckennahbybee

Happy 2019 everyone!! Welcome to the new year & the new site! Hopefully everything is a little easier to look at now that all the annoying banners and ads are gone! Woot woot!

I wanted to start this year off by sharing one of my New Year’s Resolutions with you all. It seems like a simple one but I KNOW that it is going to change my life.. Replacing hate or any negative energy with APATHY. What is apathy you ask? As stated by wikipedia Apathy is a lack of feeling, emotion, interest or concern about something of great importance. It is a state of indifference.

So what exactly does that mean? By replacing hate or any bad energy that you carry around with apathy it will allow you to let things go & not have power over you. This year I am taking back the reins. I think you should too. Stop worrying about what your moms, dads, friends or family will think if you fail or mess up. GO for what you’re wanting BELIEVE in yourself so madly that you can make anything happen. Already in just the few days we are into 2019 I’ve felt a difference. I will not dwell on the things I cannot change or control or fix. I will accept them and forget them. Letting go of the bad allows you more space to carry around positive energy and along with the law of attraction will bring you good juju for 2019! It will also give you more time to think about what is truly important to you.

Here’s to 2019 it’s O U R year!!!

Xx, Kennah

You are the Average of the 5 People you Spend Most Time With.

Posted on by mckennahbybee

Have you ever heard the saying you are the sum of the 5 people closest to you? The 5 people we spend the most time with influence and shape our lives much more than you might think. Your mindset, success, and interests are all affected by these people which is why it is so important for you to be picky about who you spend your time with.

Surround yourself with people who you would like to be like and remove those negative or toxic people from your life. It’s essential to your health, happiness and success. Find people who challenge you mentally, befriend the person who makes it to spin class every week, the family chef or the super mom/dad from down the street. Look for mentors who you can learn from and who can guide you, those who have achieved things you would like to also achieve. One quote I heard that has stuck with me is don’t take advice from someone who has not already done what you want to do. They might be between you and where you want to me but they have NOT made it.

Really when you break it down it is common sense. Muscles need to be tried and tested to grow in the gym we lift weights and break down our muscle so that it can rebuild stronger, by surrounding yourself with these people who challenge us we grow and learn and become the best version of ourself. If we live in this comfort zone and we are complacent we can never live up to our full potential.

I don’t know about you but my biggest fear is not taking advantage of my capabilities and the gifts I’ve been given. I want to become the best friend, mom, sister, wife etc. (insert your goals here!) There are books We can read and Ted Talks and YouTube videos and tons of other resources but the most influential is the people who are actually in our life on a day to day basis. Choose wisely.

Xx, Kennah

The Science behind a Vision Board

Posted on by mckennahbybee

For those that don’t know visualization is one of the most powerful things you can do with your mind. In a book I recently bought they talk about the law of attraction and how it is the strongest force in the universe. For some people visualizing things comes easy. From a young age I realized I was what most people call a ‘dreamer’. For a lot of others this creative side doesn’t come as easily and a more structured way to do this is a vision board.

NBA players and olympic athletes even use this visualization practice to help perfect their game. Our cheer coaches used to make us lay on the mat and play the music and have us envision hitting our routine perfectly. After 2 run throughs of visualizing we always improved dramatically or hit a perfect routine.

Why does visualization work you ask?

The neurons in our brains that transmit information see these visualizations and images and interpret them as real life. Our brain then creates new neural pathways that set us up to actually complete these tasks in real life. It also instills a confidence because we have seen what it looks like to achieve these goals.

Creating a vision board is to help you materialize your dreams and bring them to life. When you make your vision board it should not only be things that you want but it should also mirror the way you want to feel. I picked a few different goals in life and highlighted them on my vision board. Both big and small. I’m big on family so I included pictures of happy families that I hope to have one day. I want to travel a lot and picked a few of my tops places I want to visit someday. I want to be able to have a home office one day to be with my kids but still have a job where I can earn money and help support my family, so I included a photo of a home office. The smaller items I included are Disney annual passes, photos of a dog & a Louis Vuttion Bag I’ve been dying for.

There are no rules and you can put whatever you want on your vision board!!

After you’ve completed your vision board put it somewhere you can see it EVERYDAY! Mine is above the bench where I get dressed every morning. It helps me start my day off right and on hard days it reminds me of why I do what I am doing.

Xx, Kennah

Learning ‘Risk Tolerance’

Posted on by mckennahbybee

Recently a good friend of mine taught me what ‘risk tolerance’ means and it’s completely changed my thought process. I decided to share because I think it will be a great conversation starter for those of us who get it or something great to learn for those who don’t. Risk tolerance is just that, learning how to tolerate risks to then get the reward. There’s what I like to call a sweet spot when deciding to take on a risk (such as chasing a dream or buying a car). This sweet spot is sandwiched between being in over your head and not taking advantage enough to really get anywhere. The balance is crucial because being in over your head is where the danger comes and not diving in deep enough to actually reap any benefits becomes pointless.

With anything you do in life there are risks involved. Falling in love, taking a new job, buying a new house ect. This newer generation has the entrepreneurial mind set and understands to really succeed one must learn to take and tolerate risks. A few weeks ago at a family party I sat back and listened to my family talk about these young couples in their twenties buying expensive houses, driving nice cars and how they’re all in over their heads and one day all of their nice things will be taken away. I’m sure in some cases this could be true, but I was disappointed to hear this older generation be so assumptive about something extremely negative. To be honest I was surprised people really care or think about what others are doing, but it caused me to really start thinking. This generation works smarter not harder. Our parents worked 9-5 their whole lives while everything passed them by. The way we have learned and evolved from our parents is amazing. We understand this term risk tolerance and that’s how so many younger people are living these amazing lives where they have time to spend with their families creating memories.

Many of my friends have their typical jobs like I do, but that isn’t all we do with our time. I have a friend who recently got his real estate license while working at a completely different sales job. I sell clothes, am learning to edit videos and blog on my time off from my regular job. 2 of my friends own their own companies and are doing so well for themselves, neither of which attended college. I have many friends and siblings who have taken the alternative route and skipped college and do better than a lot of people who did go to college. This is not the case for everyone and I see the benefits a lot of my friends have from going to college but the path is not the same for us all. We all have our hands in many different things investing time and money multiple places and using our risk tolerance to exceed beyond what our parents and grandparents thought was possible.

Sometimes I am embarrassed of the things that come from my generation, but this is not one of them. I know tons of people who have risked it all and chase their dreams and it’s working. They are not afraid, they do not second guess themselves and they will not fail because they can’t. One of these people is the owner of Rev Motoring, where I bought my car. He started from nothing, took on the risk which has only grown more and more as he is succeeding. There have been set backs like anything else but they’ve pushed through everything to get where they are. People only fail when they start to waiver or when they get in over their head. (There is a difference between a set back and true failure). I know people who have done this as well, they get too confident too quickly and lose everything. I cannot stress how important the sweet spot is.

As you probably know, I’ve really taken an interest in videography. I purchased an online workshop course to learn how to edit videos and the influencer who put it on, Indy Blue, explained something that I loved as well. She told a story how she went and purchased a very nice very expensive camera to make her videos. As her video quality and editing skills have continued to get better, she was able to make her money back quickly by creating wedding videos. She now has a camera which is paid for to use for her personal trips and documenting as well as future weddings and work related projects.

You have to do whatever it takes to make it work, for me that means buying editing workshops online and camera gear and lenses and gimbals and spending hours in iMovie and on YouTube.

When buying my car, I drove a crappy car longer than needed because I knew what I wanted. I could afford more than I was driving at the time but I didn’t want something mediocre so I waited a little longer and exercised my risk tolerance and now I have a car that’s nicer than my moms (no offense mom, but you haven’t learned risk tolerance yet). I’m building my credit to be able to buy a house hopefully next year and I’ll be again taking on a risk.

You can take risks too. Whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to do, you can. You just have to want it bad enough. Take out a loan and get working because an idea in your head with no action will never make you money. Creativity fuels the world we live in.

Xx,

Kennah

Learning to say No.

Posted on by mckennahbybee

No. It’s just a word, but why is it that we are so afraid to say it? Whether it’s psychological or the fact of being a people pleaser like me it’s easier to say yes and make everyone happy which only leads to you being unhappy because now you have to do something you don’t want to do.

Saying yes to too many things is counter productive because once our plates become too full, things start to slip. Building fences to help us feel comfortable saying no is a good thing and something that will help you to be successful.

Things you should say yes to : things that make you happy or you enjoy, that advance your career path, and that won’t distract us from reaching our goals.

Here are some things to keep in mind when you’re considering making a commitment to someone.

  • Set your boundaries beforehand & stick to them.
  • If it takes your time and it doesn’t benefit you personally or professionally say no.
  • Don’t be afraid to create some white space on your calendar.
  • Accept people’s reactions and move on.
  • Have a solid honest reason, don’t fall down the rabbit hole of excuses.
  • Take time to answer if you need it. i.e. “Let me think about it”.
  • Thank them for thinking of you or offering.

Learning to say no will help you avoid resentment. Most of the time if you’re honest and upfront with someone about the way you feel they will understand. If you need to practice saying no get in front of a mirror. Learning to say no was very hard for me, but I can’t tell you how much happier I am now that I have learned. I have time to do things that I enjoy and that help me to learn and grow as a person. Saying no doesn’t make you mean and learning the reasons you say no is important as well. It will allow you to live in a more positive state of mind where you don’t dread commitments or complain the entire time you’re doing it.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF. IT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL BE HAPPINESS.

Xx, Kennah

 

Setting Goals

Posted on by mckennahbybee

One of my favorite things to do is set new goals. Write them down, track them as you progress, and finally CHECK THEM OFF! Here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way of my goal setting.

  1. Write it down and keep it somewhere you can see it on a regular basis to remind yourself what you are working for. I also like to write why this is my goal. For example right now I am doing a sugar cleanse. I wrote my goal of how long I’m going without sugar, specifics on what I can/can’t eat, and finally my reason being that it makes me feel yucky, tired, sluggish & it makes workouts harder.
  2. Be realistic with yourself. Instead of setting a goal to lose 20 lbs, break it down and lose 5 lbs at a time. You may find that you don’t actually need to lose 20 lbs just 15.
  3. SET A TIME FRAME! If you just say I want to save money for a puppy or whatever it is, the likelihood of it happening at least for me is slim. I have to say I will save $1,000 for a puppy by such and such date, I will save $100 a paycheck to get there.
  4. Don’t set too many. YES, I did just say that. If you set too many you lose focus and its better to zone in on a few and check those off and then set new ones. If you’re trying to do it all, everything gets half done and you’ll never get anywhere.
  5. Set long term & short term goals. I.e long term you want to help people, your short term goal would be to volunteer 2 hours a week for 8 weeks.
  6. Don’t be afraid to tell other people no. Something I struggle with is when I’m trying to resist something and someone says I’m dumb or I don’t need to lose this or do that and tries to offer it to me, I start to reason with myself. Just say no, don’t negotiate and justify. You’re doing this for you, not for them. Automatically know your answer is going to be no and pull out your reasons why.

Now go set some goals!!

Xx, Kennah

To the girl who loves more..

Posted on by mckennahbybee

This post is a little different from my typical posts about make-up or fashion and I hope that’s okay. I felt inspired to write this post dedicated to girls out there who feel just like me. The girls who always feel like they love more. I can’t tell you that I have found the guy who was worth the wait and heartbreak, but I can tell you he is out there.

To the girl who is still with him:

You’re worth more than this. You deserve better. You might not see it now, but you will one day. I’ve been in that place where I accepted less than I deserved. I always knew I wasn’t getting what I wanted from my relationship, but people have a way of making you feel crazy. Like you’re asking for too much. Respect, love, even assurance are all important things. Everyone has a different love language. No one deserves to be with someone who makes you question your worth or what you mean to them. The right guy will constantly be reminding you. He will not put himself in a place where he could possibly lose you because he can’t bear the thought of living without you. You are strong enough to leave and it will be worth waiting for the right one. I promise you are worth it and you CAN find it. You deserve to be happy.

To the girl in the dating scene:

The dating scene can be one of the most frustrating things. People will waste your time and play games while you are looking for something more, something that’s real and will last. You always put everything into everyone else and that’s what makes you so special. Do not forget that. No matter how people make you feel it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. You have this incredible ability to love and feel. The right person is going to see you for exactly who you are. They will see the value of a good heart. When you find someone who wants to try, don’t hold back or hold things against them because of your past. Give them everything you’ve got because you only have one life and one chance. This love you’re looking for will find you and it will be too good to let someone who didn’t see your value spoil it for you.

To the girl who isn’t ready to date yet:

Until you find something that is worth your time focus on yourself. Put that energy you put into others back into yourself. When the one you’ve long been waiting for comes, you have to be ready. Knowing yourself first is very important because you can’t love someone else if you don’t truly love who you are. A wise woman once told me in order to be loved you must first be lovable. Find that girl. Love that girl. Prepare yourself to be a good girlfriend, wife, or mother. Whatever you want to be, you have to grow into that person. Read books, study things that interest you and most of all set goals for yourself. I have taken cooking classes, travelled to new places and spent hours at the gym. Discover new things about yourself. He will see you doing your thing and he will come.

Remember, what is meant for you will not pass you by. Look for the good if you are struggling, you will find it. Look for the bad and you will find it.

Xx, Kennah