Learning to say No.

No. It’s just a word, but why is it that we are so afraid to say it? Whether it’s psychological or the fact of being a people pleaser like me it’s easier to say yes and make everyone happy which only leads to you being unhappy because now you have to do something you don’t want to do.

Saying yes to too many things is counter productive because once our plates become too full, things start to slip. Building fences to help us feel comfortable saying no is a good thing and something that will help you to be successful.

Things you should say yes to : things that make you happy or you enjoy, that advance your career path, and that won’t distract us from reaching our goals.

Here are some things to keep in mind when you’re considering making a commitment to someone.

  • Set your boundaries beforehand & stick to them.
  • If it takes your time and it doesn’t benefit you personally or professionally say no.
  • Don’t be afraid to create some white space on your calendar.
  • Accept people’s reactions and move on.
  • Have a solid honest reason, don’t fall down the rabbit hole of excuses.
  • Take time to answer if you need it. i.e. “Let me think about it”.
  • Thank them for thinking of you or offering.

Learning to say no will help you avoid resentment. Most of the time if you’re honest and upfront with someone about the way you feel they will understand. If you need to practice saying no get in front of a mirror. Learning to say no was very hard for me, but I can’t tell you how much happier I am now that I have learned. I have time to do things that I enjoy and that help me to learn and grow as a person. Saying no doesn’t make you mean and learning the reasons you say no is important as well. It will allow you to live in a more positive state of mind where you don’t dread commitments or complain the entire time you’re doing it.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF. IT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL BE HAPPINESS.

Xx, Kennah

 

Authenticity

The topic of authenticity and being genuine has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Especially with so much content being put out onto the inter webs nowadays it’s become very superficial. You can never tell what is real and what is fake.

For me it is so important to remain true to myself.

Being a blogger in a world where there are literally hundreds of thousands of them. Posting outfits, articles, playlists, recipes and everything in between. The swipe uppers. The discount coders. Taking on sponsorships and collaborations just to get paid without even testing out products first. With me everything I post or recommend is something that I have purchased, tried, and loved MYSELF. I know I am small but even if companies were sending me things to test out, I will NEVER recommend something I haven’t honestly loved. I will never take advantage of this platform I have to talk and fill it with lies or photoshop. I will never fake the “my life is perfect” act because it isn’t. It’s far from it to be quite honest but it’s my life and I absolutely love every second of it.

There are tons of bloggers and people out there doing exactly what I am doing here, but I hope you feel my realness. I love fashion and beauty, but if you’ve been reading my blog lately it’s been much more than that. It’s given me a lot more confidence to continue to post good content that others can relate to. I love hearing peoples stories. I love connecting with people. Yes, I am going to still be posting beauty and fashion but this blog is becoming much more than I could have ever imagined. The people who have reached out to me telling me they’ve struggled with anxiety or that they love that I am willing to talk about such a touchy subject I APPRECIATE YOU! More than you know.

In a world of filters, editing, and photoshop there is a lack of realness. For all of us. I hope that I can help to bring it back. This isn’t a job for me and it never will be. It’s something I enjoy and love doing. I hope I can help others have the courage to do the same and be confident in what they do have and not worry about what they don’t. Everyone on social media whether you’re a blogger or not could use more raw authenticity. Don’t be afraid to be you. I’m here blogging, being the link in bio girl, putting myself out there and it is really scary and at times I feel silly. What difference can I make in the world? Why would people want to hear what I have to say when there’s so many already doing this same thing? Here I am still writing, still creating and I will never stop.

I was created to create.
Xx, Kennah

Travel Essentials

As you know I love to travel, I’m going on quite a few trips this spring/summer so I wanted to create a guide for my must-haves while traveling (in no specific order). If you have any must-haves for traveling you think I’d like please send them my way!

Comfort is a huge priority for me while traveling, but I also like to look cute not as if I just rolled out of bed. The Lululemon Align II Pants give me the best of both worlds. They are so comfy and feel like you’re not even wearing pants (that’s why they call them the naked pants) and they make you bum look nice! These are perfect for a long flight or drive because they’re not restricting at all. They’re a bit expensive, but I promise you’ll wear them everyday and it will be worth it.

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Next comfort item is cozy socks! It can get pretty cold on airplane’s or even a chilly hotel room at night. It’s always nice to have a soft pair of socks to help you get warm or just to put on at night after your shower.

I am overly cautious about getting too much sun and using sunscreen. I take good care of my skin and I never want wrinkles so I make sure I use my sunscreen frequently. For my face I use Tarteguard SPF 30 it doesn’t make me breakout like some of the others I have tried. For my body I use Sun Bum Sunscreen Lotion with SPF 30 as well (they make a spray version). It also smells tropical which I love. For my lips I use Sun Bum Sunscreen Lip Balm that is SPF 30. It also has aloe and Vitamin E to keep them soft and smooth. It comes in a few different flavors, but I love the banana one! (Ulta never has them in stock in-stores that tells you how popular they are, but they also have them at Target if they’re out!) I also bought the cutest sun hat from Nordstrom to help out with keeping my face out of the sun!

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MEDICINE! Questionably the most important thing on this list. It’s always a good idea to take any medicines you think you may need with you. It would be tragic to be stuck in a foreign country with a language barrier and a stomach ache. This could be a life or death type of situation. (Zofran is also a life saver if you’re feeling nauseous). If you have a hard time sleeping in new environments try melatonin!

Sensibility! While traveling I don’t want to carry my big purse around or worry about an expensive bag being taken or something falling out during the hustle and bustle. I love to have a backpack to carry my stuff around in! It’s so conveinient and distributes weight more evenly than a purse which makes my back happy! I found a few super cute backpacks (one of which I used in disneyland and it was perfect!) and they’re all only $20!

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Another sensible must-have for me is a passport holder! (If you’re going out of the country that is.) It keeps all your important things together: passport, money, and credit cards.

We can’t forget about BEAUTY essentials. Time changes and jet lag can be a killer for your sleep schedule. Nobody likes dark circles under their eyes or looking tired so thus my next essential: Under Eye Gel Patches. Send those under eye bags packing!

Dry Shampoo. Sometimes when you’re on the go so much, you don’t have time to wash, dry, and re-style your hair. This is where LUSH’s No Drought Dry Shampoo comes into play and saves the day! My favorite part about this dry shampoo is that it works well even on dark hair and adds volume (BONUS!).

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Gadgets are a bare-necessity in today’s world. Headphones are perfect when it comes to air travel (especially when you want to tune out your snoring seat-mate). I’m a freak about quality head phones. You won’t see me with the cheap $15 headphones that hurt your ears. I’m all for comfort and quality when it comes to my music entertainment. I have a few pairs of Beats that I like to use and what’s better than wireless earphones that don’t tangle around everything?

Continuing with gadgets is a portable charger. If you’re like me you love to take photos and videos of everything while traveling, but it can get tricky when you’re on the go all day long looking up directions and places to eat. That’s why the TravelCard is perfect. It’s so thin you can actually fit it in your wallet and it gives you 5 hours of charge time!

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Finally we have: a good book. It’s the perfect time killer while traveling. Have a layover or a long drive? Nothing passes time for me like reading and it just makes me feel as if I’m taking a piece of home with me.

Xx, Kennah

Break-up Guide

This is my ultimate break-up guide. It’s not my favorite thing to be writing, but if it helps even just one girl through this awful process it is worth sharing for me. There’s a few things I want to start off with that aren’t steps, but I feel are still important for you to know and understand. Break-ups aren’t easy for anyone and they happen to everyone! You absolutely will be happy again and this is not the end. Your life isn’t over. You will move on and you will find someone again one day who can give you what you want and make you happy. Everything happens for a reason. I promise if they were meant for you they would still be here. They wouldn’t have put themselves in the position to loose you if they wanted to stay. This was meant to happen. It will make sense one day and you will be thankful.

The first step to my break-up guide is to accept that the past is over, you can’t think about what you could have done differently or think about regretting it. D0n’t let thoughts of them and who you thought they were take over.

The second step is to take the time to be sad or do whatever you want to do (only for a few days max). Lay in bed if you need to, eat ice cream, cry, or watch a sad movie.

Third, you need to get out of the house. Try to keep yourself busy. Go out with friends to dinner, (you have to keep eating and drinking even if you don’t feel like it make yourself) visit with family, or throw yourself into your work. Do your regular life stuff like going to the gym, running errands, getting your nails done. (DONT CUT YOUR HAIR! If you’re thinking you want to I encourage you to wait at least 3 weeks to think it over carefully).

The fourth step can be hard, but is essential in moving on. It’s time to delete your ex from social media accounts. When moving on sometimes it’s tempting to want to see what they’re doing or obsess over it. I promise you might think you have the self control now, but one day you won’t. Out of sight, out of mind. If you want to keep old pictures or texts do not go through them until you know that you’re ready and DO NOT TEXT THEM (try to do a phone cleanse or text a friend instead every time you feel the need).

4.5 I made a half-step because this isn’t totally necessary, but it is for me. Find songs that make you feel good. (Delete any songs that remind you of them). Sing your heart out in the car and in the shower. Try to loosen up a bit and forget about the heartache for even just a few moments.

My favorite step #5, (this is where it starts to feel okay, even if it’s just while you’re doing it) try something new. Something that you never did with you ex, something brand new that doesn’t remind you of them or make you feel sad. It’s important to do things on your own and find new hobbies until you can go back to doing the things you used to without feeling sad. You will get your sense of independence back and you can even set new goals.

6. HAVE FUN! Try to laugh and don’t let yourself just exist, be alive and present. Learn to let go and become you again.

When you’re ready you will be able to move on. You will be able to go out with other people. Just be careful not to do it too soon or push yourself. You’ll know when you’re ready. When you are, don’t start comparing them to your ex. Remember no matter how hard it is they will never be the same as your ex. No two loves will ever be the same and your new love can be better, stronger, and hopefully forever.

Best of luck with your break-up and if you need extra help or advice you can contact me here.

Xx, Kennah