This is my ultimate break-up guide. It’s not my favorite thing to be writing, but if it helps even just one girl through this awful process it is worth sharing for me. There’s a few things I want to start off with that aren’t steps, but I feel are still important for you to know and understand. Break-ups aren’t easy for anyone and they happen to everyone! You absolutely will be happy again and this is not the end. Your life isn’t over. You will move on and you will find someone again one day who can give you what you want and make you happy. Everything happens for a reason. I promise if they were meant for you they would still be here. They wouldn’t have put themselves in the position to loose you if they wanted to stay. This was meant to happen. It will make sense one day and you will be thankful.
The first step to my break-up guide is to accept that the past is over, you can’t think about what you could have done differently or think about regretting it. D0n’t let thoughts of them and who you thought they were take over.
The second step is to take the time to be sad or do whatever you want to do (only for a few days max). Lay in bed if you need to, eat ice cream, cry, or watch a sad movie.
Third, you need to get out of the house. Try to keep yourself busy. Go out with friends to dinner, (you have to keep eating and drinking even if you don’t feel like it make yourself) visit with family, or throw yourself into your work. Do your regular life stuff like going to the gym, running errands, getting your nails done. (DONT CUT YOUR HAIR! If you’re thinking you want to I encourage you to wait at least 3 weeks to think it over carefully).
The fourth step can be hard, but is essential in moving on. It’s time to delete your ex from social media accounts. When moving on sometimes it’s tempting to want to see what they’re doing or obsess over it. I promise you might think you have the self control now, but one day you won’t. Out of sight, out of mind. If you want to keep old pictures or texts do not go through them until you know that you’re ready and DO NOT TEXT THEM (try to do a phone cleanse or text a friend instead every time you feel the need).
4.5 I made a half-step because this isn’t totally necessary, but it is for me. Find songs that make you feel good. (Delete any songs that remind you of them). Sing your heart out in the car and in the shower. Try to loosen up a bit and forget about the heartache for even just a few moments.
My favorite step #5, (this is where it starts to feel okay, even if it’s just while you’re doing it) try something new. Something that you never did with you ex, something brand new that doesn’t remind you of them or make you feel sad. It’s important to do things on your own and find new hobbies until you can go back to doing the things you used to without feeling sad. You will get your sense of independence back and you can even set new goals.
6. HAVE FUN! Try to laugh and don’t let yourself just exist, be alive and present. Learn to let go and become you again.
When you’re ready you will be able to move on. You will be able to go out with other people. Just be careful not to do it too soon or push yourself. You’ll know when you’re ready. When you are, don’t start comparing them to your ex. Remember no matter how hard it is they will never be the same as your ex. No two loves will ever be the same and your new love can be better, stronger, and hopefully forever.
Best of luck with your break-up and if you need extra help or advice you can contact me here.